Sheeps in my eats.

Sometimes we have to find small joys in every day. For example - look at this tiny sheep I found in my rice dish. Complete with little green seasoning eyeballs. Did it make my day a little better? Of course it did.

I am now the owner of a shoulder/arm tattoo. Got it done 12 days ago - it's been doing the peeling and the itching. I love it, though I do wish Scribbles's ears were more distinct on the top part of the moth. But I know what it means, and it reminds me of him following me around. Now I get to take him with me everywhere. I haven't shown my fat ass arm to so many people in my life. lol.

The grief still comes in waves. I had a really bad one the other day, and I got up after a nap getting out of bed and saying "Scribbadeeez" and then realizing he wasn't there.

I have met with my doctor and have started to become insistent on trying to figure out what is wrong with my legs - especially my left leg. I had xrays first, which I knew wouldn't be the problem, but insurance is picky. He of course, let me know I needed to lose weight, and I told him it's probably exacerbating the problem but it didn't cause it - because all this shit started when I was at my healthiest! Even the doc had to admit he saw a size difference in my legs that is now permanent, while it used to just be when I sat for a while or walked for a while. Mom and I are still walking to prep for Disney. The weather has not cooperated for walking to and from work though. It always says it is going to rain, so I drive, then it doesn't rain. But I just KNOW if I ignore the warnings, that that is the day I will get to work soggy.

Here is a close up of my little rice sheep. You are welcome.

I am planning on taking mom to this 360 dome show thing in Columbus. It's based on the teaching of Alan Watts, who I know she likes. When I asked if she wanted to go, she said "I didn't think you believed in his ideas". Which I don't really, I don't know all that much about him I just know she likes his vibe. I am a little worried about her getting tugged along into some conspiracy/wellness/spirituality woo pipeline, but she seems to feel much more confident and sure of herself, and I am glad of that part. I tried to tell her that all those feelings of "knowing truth" are also what I felt with Christianity back in the day, but of course, her beliefs aren't religion...so it's not the same. She is discovering truth, I was part of a cult. Whatever works for her to have the best life she can, I guess I am all for. I just think she wants me to come along on this journey with her and I am too logical for that I am afraid. I think we all have some kind of energy and intention does matter - but also - we don't know shit. Its the belief itself that is powerful, not what is believed.

So - belief in yourself is the most important thing you can give yourself.

Later taters.