After the loss of Scribbles and a talk with a friend from my younger days, the desire to try and figure out my life timeline became all consuming. What adventures did I have when? I have done so many things over the years and I wanted to get them all straight. So I have been desperately trying to find all of my photos - and a huge chunk are missing. I bought equipment to check old SD cards, found some things, a Vegas trip with coworkers, a few rolls of trying out a new cam

Other than the death of so many damn icons, I have had a great 3 days off. It seems like a lot has happened. I finally convinced my doctor that I needed more than just PT and weight loss for whatever is going on with my hips/legs. I think he just got annoyed with me - but it got me an appointment with a spine specialist and she was AWESOME. She saw my x-rays and ordered some new ones, but she thinks it is not obviously bone related - she referred me to Neurology and told me

Sometimes we have to find small joys in every day. For example - look at this tiny sheep I found in my rice dish. Complete with little green seasoning eyeballs. Did it make my day a little better? Of course it did. I am now the owner of a shoulder/arm tattoo. Got it done 12 days ago - it's been doing the peeling and the itching. I love it, though I do wish Scribbles's ears were more distinct on the top part of the moth. But I know what it means, and it reminds me of him

Surprise road trip to Wellington this past weekend for the haunted garage sale and hearse drive in. It was way busier than we were expecting. I really wish I would have bought the life size fuschia skeleton pillow, but alas, I passed it up. Bestie and I stayed in Mansfield at a really crap hotel that was too crap for the cost. I wounded myself on the bed frame that was sticking out on the inner side of the bed. I hit my ankle on it three times total. It was hard to see an

Yesterday I set up an easel with a pad of paper and pulled some charcoal out. Then I drank wine. Cheap Aldi moscato to be exact. And it went down sweet and easy and I - broke. The floodgates opened and I cried. and sketched on my little paper pad, so excited to be finally in front of natural media again, and I did three portrait sketches. This one, one of me, and another muse from Sktchy. Are they good? Not really, but did it help release some emotion? Yeah, they did. I wa

The date for my tattoo is set. The artist is interpreting my sketch into something that will work as a tattoo. I am a bit nervous. I will see the final sketch on the date of the appointment. I found someone local that was recommended to me by several friends. It's been a strange week. I had the opportunity to meet up with an aquaintance I knew back when I was dating my first boyfriend. Of course, I was worried to meet up. Social awkardness, and also my age and body cha

Everything is quiet. Everything was quiet before, but now it's overwhelmingly so. Something about having another living thing in your space for 15 years and then losing that presence - I donno - the silence is a deafening hole. I am doing ok. Everything comes in waves and my tiktok algorithm just wants me to cry all day apparently. I bought a puzzle table and Scrib's spot has become my area for decompression. People keep telling me I am doing well, that I am doing better

Today is the worst day of my life thus far but it couldn't have been any more perfect. We got up, and you were having a really decent day, we took long walks, you got to have ice cream with chocolate in it. I noticed you didn't eat food for days but didn't mind slurping up some Nutella ice cream. Maybe it was the meds that the vet gave you that kept the pain at bay long enough for you to have the best last morning. Last night, like every night, you insisted on coming up

No, not like...DRUGS DRUGS. Obviously - I work for the PoPo. No. My family doctor broke down and told me I needed to see a psychiatrist because he wasn't sure what else to do with me and I couldn't get my anxiety and depression and mood swings under control. He believes that if I get my brain right apparently all the weight will fall off and my pain will go away or something. Why not give it a try? So - I went to the head shrink. She believes I have a definite mood disorde

It's been a month. A lot has happened in this month. The Disney trip is paid for - at least hotel, tickets, and plane flights. I didn't win Mom over for the middle priced resort I wanted, but she did finally agree to stay at the Wyndham. Saved us several thousand in the long run, though I may have to spring for Ubers once in a while since transportation is not as reliable as with the on site resorts. Originally she was dead set on All-Star Sports, but I am glad she caved fo

I have - news. A few weeks ago my mom messaged me. Bambi....I think I want to go to Disney one more time. I was forced to tell her about London plans - and to ask her which she preferred. She chose Disney. So - less time to prepare, and much more expensive. lol. Strangely enough I will probably need the amount I budgeted for London for the two of us just for myself in Disney. Mom is gonna have to step her pussy up and find some funds. lol I am trying to talk her into sta

It’s been a long time since I posted. This past week I have been off from work and it’s been the best week in a long time. Bestie and I went on our annual birthday trip to Cleveland. She got a tattoo in the memory of her mother, we ate well, had appropriate amounts of drinks for ladies of a certain age who may have almost poisoned themselves a few months prior - and I got to be face to face with a whole room of Redon’s lithographs. I cannot explain how emotional it was. And i

January. Bitches. It's rough. I have some wonderful things to look forward to...but also...you know. It's a rough time to be living life as an empath. My anxiety is through the roof, depression folds over me frequently like a stratus cloud turned weighted blanket that smothers instead of comforts. I am on day 11 of 12 1/3. It's probably going to be my last really long streak of work because our trainees are due to be released in early spring. I have been trying so hard

HOLY SHIZBUCKETS IT'S HAPPENING!!! I am seeing more Redon work IN PERSON. In my face, my eyes, my symbolist loving SOUL. I asked a couple of times, and this time the museum responded and now I have a day set aside to go and meet with them in the study room and see my favorite artist's work that is normally not on display. I am gagged. I am giddy. I am overwhelmed with joy. The CMA already had enough of his work that I was almost crying when I left the museum back in 2023.

Happy Post-Holiday!! I am on doodle 100. We got a raise at work. I am off tomorrow - and the laundry is mostly done. All in all I am feeling OK. Yesterday I donned some fun socks and my bright red pants and felt very much in tune with my colorful sense of self. I am going to post some of the Color Cube doodles in the next few days and by the 1st I will have my 100 - and then on to the next. January is going to be busy with work. With the raise and the overtime, hopefull

I finally did it - I found a short chonky nutcracker to turn into a dispatcher. We have a cop one and a firefighter one and for the longest time I said that dispatch needs representation. I added a headset and some warrant folders and one of our newbies 3D printed a Stanley style cup to add to the realism. I am working on Color Cube number 99. The goal was 100 by new year and I have got it on lock. We are headed into another season of overtime at work. I did request my bi

They say bad decisions make good stories. Well, maybe in your 20's? Bestie and I went to Columbus on Thursday to see the Jinx and Dela holiday special. The show was great, the queens were funny. 100% would do again. The tiny woman behind the theatre bar made us our double drinks for the show and - what we got was 8 oz of gin and vodka with a spritz of tonic and cranberry juice respectively. After getting a bit buzzed at the show we walked back to the hotel bar and had a co

It's been a while. In an effort to battle depression I scheduled a few fun things. I took mom out at the end of October to see the Cincinnati Museum Center. It was fun but my face was swollen. Apparently I had cellulitis from a cyst or something in my cheek. The pain went all the way up into my damn eyeball. I had gone to urgent care that morning and started antibiotics, but the hard lump is still there and I might have to see a plastic surgeon. The bestie and I went to

Yes, I did it to myself. I am on day 17 of a 19 day work run, most of those being 12 hours per day. My house is a mess, I am behind on...

On day 2 of a 12 day run. I wish SOMETHING could be taken off my plate. My new CPAP machine makes me smell something smoky in the...