Bear, Please

It's been a while. In an effort to battle depression I scheduled a few fun things. I took mom out at the end of October to see the Cincinnati Museum Center. It was fun but my face was swollen. Apparently I had cellulitis from a cyst or something in my cheek. The pain went all the way up into my damn eyeball. I had gone to urgent care that morning and started antibiotics, but the hard lump is still there and I might have to see a plastic surgeon. The bestie and I went to see Dracula, A Comedy of Terrors in Cincinnati the next day and had brunch at Melotone. Seeing as how I had a large red swollen cheek, I decided to "hide" it by making it look like I was bitten by a vampire on the cheek - fake blood and all. It did look pretty fabulous. We didn't plan it but brunch ended up being a drag brunch! We got a bit toasty and headed to the theatre and the show was hilarious as expected. It would be a fun one to direct.

Then last week I dragged bestie out to an all women dance party sing along in Marion, Ohio of all places. At first I was a little nervous because people and low self esteem are not really a good combination. Also I spilled my very first drink all over the front of myself - but luckily it was fireball and apple so I was wet but - smelled nice? We got krunked. We danced, we chatted with some random ladies, and then went to the airbnb and played some card games, which my bestie later told me she drunkenly possibly maybe cheated at....

I am well paced to reach my 100th Color Cube doodle by Jan. 1st. Currently I have number 93 cued up on the ipad. I am a bit behind on posting them all but I don't want to try and post them all at once.

Also I started therapy. It's something I have needed for a while and I am not exactly sure what my end goal is; I have done a lot of oversharing then spent the rest of the day thinking about how dumb I am for oversharing. That seems productive.

I just have a lot of thoughts and feelings weighing me down. It's overwhelming. Add the work load on top of all that and some emotional trauma I haven't really been able to process - and I feel like I have lost myself a bit and want to get her back. I have been trying to give myself experiences that bring me joy so I don't wallow in self-hatred.

So next week I have tickets to a drag show...

Also on a happy note, I managed to snag a Bonne Maman advent calendar before they sold out. I donno if I am more excited for the jams and spreads or those tiny little mother-fucking jars. ***happy squeal***

Time to update the Color Cube page. Stay sane out there, internet wanderers.